Feline Candies
Posted on Sun Apr 7th, 2024 @ 8:35pm by Fleet Captain Maxwell Culver & Lieutenant Dr. Morgan Alexander-Harrington M.D. & Candy Man
1,416 words; about a 7 minute read
Mission:
Short Treks
Location: USS Intrepid: Candy Shop
Timeline: During Home Sweet Home
After a rousing cup of Raktajino and a meeting with his hopefully mentor, the Chief Counselor, young Cadet Azorius headed for a walk around the ship. He hadn't had much time to do so yet, so was really enjoying his self guided tour. His next stop, was the Emporium deck. He headed out of the turbolift, expecting to find an empty corridor of white walls and LCARS screens but instead ended up face to face with a stranger. He was startled, his tail flicking behind him and hie ears perked.
"Ah, I'm sorry, didn't expect anyone to be here, or I wouldn't have been humming to myself..." he said sheepishly.
“No one here?” the woman asked, her Glaswegian accent a bit sing song. Her dress was almost ancient, reminding people of the old tales of Mary Poppins - with a bit less charm.
“My boy, there’s the Quark’s to Go right over there,” she pointed at the rather busy little coffee and a sandwich type place that also served as their go-to gambling floor. “And also over there is is Scottie’s Bar and Grill, you lot like to gather there for libations of an alcoholic type.”
“As for me,” she paid, pausing to notice another felinoid of the same species. “I run a small shop of candies. Of course, we have a section for Caitians and Kzinti. You lot have a specific taste.”
Freki simply stood, open jawed at the strange yet compelling interaction he was...enduring. The woman was unlike anyone he'd ever met or spent any time with at all.
"Candies you say? For Caitians?" he asked, with a smirk. "Like the ones I enjoyed on Cait as a child? That does sound appealing..." he said to the woman, now also noticing another Caitian approaching.
"Oh, you must be the Doctor, right?" he asked as he saw Doctor Alexander-Harrington approach.
“I am. How do you do?” Morgan smiled.
“Candy does sound wonderful. I have been looking for different chocolates that won’t give me an upset stomach. Chocolate can be terrible for Caitians.”
“Oh my! Your poor little tummy must hurt after eating chocolates. We carry a collection of lactose free. There’s also been a new shipment of caffeine and theobromine free chocolates that I haven’t yet tried. Wouldn’t it be nice to open them and try some samples?” the Candy Lady asked, her tone amused and slightly condescending. Though so slight neither would really be able to tell she was being condescending. It would be a topic of conversation for days between the couple of Caitians.
“You know, I have served your S’tera, before she was a lieutenant on a starship,” the Candy Lady added. This indicated she had served their kind well in the past.
Freki looked between these two and just stayed quiet, unsure really what was going on. He studied both and eventually let out a small sheepish "Um, who are you?" to the Candy Man.
“I am a purveyor of ALL things my dear, little kitten,” she answered playfully before ruffling the cowlick of a mane on his head. Moving closer to Freki’s face, she added, “so I wouldn’t mind, but you might want to think about not getting any sweeter. She roughly moved to scratching his chin before booping his wonderful nose.
“And don’t think I’ve forgotten about you,” she said, turning on a dime to look over Morgan. “That flowing blue hair, the high cheek bones, the double layer of lashes. My beautiful Morgan, I AM ever so jealous.”
“Now quit dawdling. Haven’t you ever seen the human ancient classic, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? The one with Gene Wilder, not the one with Johnny Depp. I always say, you never remake perfection. Now, now…every first purchase is free. After that, you’ll have to find me to make a second one.” She gave a cheeky wink.
Morgan smiles, nervously. This Candy person was not giving off the most safest of vibes. "Once, long ago, was a bit...creepy"
“I promise there are no suction tubes or rivers of chocolate. We’ve left that construction on the Planet Holiday, of course. A starship with a factory inside…” the Candy Lady paused. “I rather like the idea!”
Freki was tentatively about to step inside when his combadge summoned him to the attention of a missing bat(?). He wasn’t sure if all starships were this crazy, of or it was only the Intrepid.
“Sorry!” Freki said with a brief wave. “Sounds like there’s a bat in someone’s belfry.” And with that, he tore off down the hall on all four feet.
“Och! What a shame, only one good kitty to show off my wares to. Assuming you’d like to come in? Biggest known candy store in the Beta Quadrant. I’ve even got Gorn snackies in there!” The Candy Lady laughed.
Morgan nods, following the Candy Lady into her store, curious, looking around as she walked.
“Over here are the meat sticks that Miss S’tera likes. There’s plenty there, so as once said, come with me, and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination!” She twirled on her umbrella with a giggle.
“Not so grand as that old movie, but it is bigger on the inside!” She giggled again.
“It’s very impressive, though I’m not really fond of meat sticks. Never did much care for them. I generally lean more…neutral…androgynous, even with my tastes in candies and sweets.”
Morgan replied still gazing at all the splendor around them.
“Och, of course,” she said as though it was perfectly reasonable. “Look around, we’ve got candies from Earth, Bajor, Altair and all places beyond. I’ve just had a shipment from Kaitos!”
"Do you have anything from the Centauri Kingdoms? or anything from Proxima? I heard they released a new line of Salt Water Taffy from Fisher Bay and Port Lucas at Disney Proxima"
“Why darling, I have everything your heart could want. At least, when it comes to candy. Centauri candies…hmm! Oh, yes, towards the back of the room,” she said, taking their hand and leading the way.
Morgan took the offered hand, following along as the Candy Lady dashed towards the back of this abnormally large store of candies and treats.
“Here! Everything from Centauri you could ever want! Taffy!” She tossed a handful in the air like confetti. “Hard candy,” she cheered before advising further, “Don’t throw those, they break. By the pound or by the kilo, makes no difference to me. Just to your tummy darling. Get stuck in there then,” she chided him facetiously.
"These looks so wonderful" They said, picking up several boxes of taffy and chocolates from her homeworlds.
"How much do I owe?" They asked curiously, turning back to the attention of the Candy Lady.
“You’re on a Federation starship, dear, and I’m not Ferengi. It’s gratis, free. You owe me nothing. Just make sure to tell everyone to come to me for candy, especially the captain! I’ve not met him yet…and it’s going to be very important soon, I think. At least, that’s the scuttle,” she whispered in Morgan’s ear extra quietly.
“Now! Out you go!” she exclaimed, seeming mad as a Hatter, to coin a phrase. To prove her point, she danced along the mostly empty deck of the Emporium.
Morgan just stared for a moment, blinking before they turned and headed back to sickbay as fast as they could, concerned.
She laughed as he scurried away, occasionally waving at him when he looked back. Once she stopped twirling, she entered her candy shop and snapped her fingers. She would end up somewhere else on the ship, always at random, because that was the game of hide and seek.
This time, though, her appearance didn’t change. ’Oh well, you can’t have everything. I suppose I’ll have to change clothes. This nanny…what’s her face with the hoop skirt and the umbrella and the games. It’s just not right for me. Especially with this Scottish accent!’ she thought.
“Och, this is going to be fun!” she shouted into her empty store, her wild blue eyes gleaming. “And I’m going to be such a bitch! Wheeeeeee!”
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